Political Influencers

Political Influencers 

 Occasionally, I like to daydream back to the days of our forefathers and imagine how they would feel about the current state of the Constitutional Republic they started many years ago. Do we continue to hold true to the values and ideals that Jefferson, Madison, and Franklin aspired to? Would other political philosophers like Machiavelli, Locke, Voltaire, Plato, or Rousseau gaze upon our political system like a proud father and think, “I had a small part influencing this grand nation called America.” I say no. (Notice I said “America”, because from my perspective, our states are in no way united, but I digress.) 

 Who then can we say is the dynamic influencer of our modern political system? Roosevelt? Reagan? Clinton? Kennedy? No, none of these politicians had the power and firm grip on the American people and culture like Jerry Springer. Yes, the one-time mayor of Cincinnati that was removed from office for using taxpayer dollars to purchase cocaine and solicit prostitutes continues his influence on our society today. I know what you’re thinking, “Jerry Springer wasn’t in office long enough to be a political influence.” You would be wrong. 27 seasons of nationally televised craziness, and the crazier the better. 27! That doesn’t even sound right when you say it out loud, but there was Jerry, influencing generations.

 Thinking back to some of Jerry’s more outlandish storylines, “Transexual neighbor stole my man! Now my son dresses in drag and my daughter thinks she’s a boy!” That would have been quite a salacious episode, straight from the supermarket tabloids to the stage of Springer, now we call that Cal-i-for-ni-a. Here’s another, ”Boss creates a human resources nightmare by smoking crack and dancing naked while brandishing a firearm while using company property.” Another great episode, full of mystery and intrigue, but we just call that “Hunter being Hunter.”

 For 27 years, Jerry Springer burrowed deep into the psyche of the American public, and that influence is reflected in our political system today. The populous are more concerned with a leader that can be nice to everyone and give them things, like being transported back to a student body president speech in high school. You know, where they promise longer pep rallies and a new soda machine in the cafeteria, except now our politicians are saying that I have to pay for the soda machine, pay to stock it, and then give free sodas to everyone else while politicians take the credit for my altruistic gesture, then clean up the empty cans littered about before I get fined for littering. Typical. Nothing is free, not even your degree in Underwater Basket Weaving Gender Studies. No matter which side of the political aisle you decide to sit on, it’s high time that we demanded more from our elected officials than a cheap knock off re-run of a Jerry Springer episode, or the promises of “free stuff” that we don’t qualify to receive. 

 I dare you to watch any political ad, Congressional hearing, Senate committee meeting and not see a parallel in one of the hundreds of Springer episodes. That’s probably not the worst thing we’ll see, now that Roe v. Wade has been overturned, some of our current and former politicians will need to use a bit more restraint, or else I will be writing about Maury Povich next. Be honest, you’ve already imagined Maury’s voice saying, “In the case of baby Jessica, Brian, Steven, Ruth, Ryan, Erin, James, Lupe, and Christopher… former President Clinton, you ARE the father!” We know this is just conjecture, because there would be an “accident” or “suicide” before the show aired. The beginning of resolving a problem is admitting that you have one, my hope is that we haven’t embraced this chaos to a point of no turning back. 

 Stay strong my friends. --Aaron From Georgia